I smile as I hope

There will always be a rainbow after the rain, it's just the matter of light and dampness.


Back then, I'm sure you readers noticed that I used to blog about how my life sucked and as if the whole world is gonna end sort of posts. Well, funny they say time can do anything to you without telling you when and why. I guess this is what we're living for huh? as Lord Buddha said, live in the present, think nothing of the past or the future, enjoy the mist of the morning without worrying the sun will dry away the very last drop of it. Haha, as profound as it sounded, there's nothing bombastic in it, just some sprinkle of stardust with a glittering shine that'll brighten up the dark corner of your soul =)

Not that my life is a bed of roses for now nor I'm feeling joyous...I'm living in a dimension that I'm trying my level best to live in contentment...

And I'm still trying not to think bout the past and the future...although it'll form a smile while I reminisce about the blissful memories.

Here's a poem called 'I smile as I hope' Hopefully it'll bring a smile as you read =)

(I smile as I hope)

I hope,
Therefore
It comes to me.
Like an invisible smile
Forming the curve on my face.

I have a dream.
And that smile
Will fade into stardust
Of Aurorean love,
Shining my way to hope again.

When life hits you

Hello there! I'm back again, stealing some of my assignment time for blogging xD Been up with a flu and a slight cough since 2 days ago..=( nearly developed a fever last week but thankful my immune system is still running quite well because back then I used to be like sick cat every now and then when flu or coughs hit me haha...my friends were like 'it's not H1N1 rite?' yeah right.. =_='

So now that I'm already in week 4 of the semester, as usual, assignments are piling up and it seems that there's no end to the reading lists and not to forget the 6 books that I've borrowed from the library for reference purpose...I felt like I'm already drowning in the sea of books...well at least I was drilled by Ms. Grace back then to read up on all the literature books back in college and thus far, I'm really glad and thankful that I could still handle it =D though drowning, I'm enjoying the sea water as well xD (what nonsense..)

About the assignments, since this is the very 1st time that I've actually approached such question and as you can read in my previous post I was kinda stressed up..hehehe(typical me xD) and hyper-ventilating as Clare used to put =P, I'm finally done with that essay and surprisingly, Mr. Gilmore said that I was right on track and he said it was impressive as I'm only a 1st year student when I approached him to show him my draft =) Felt so 'victorious' *glorious music playing...* the next thing I know, I'm popped out of a bubble XD Of course I wouldn't know how it'll turn out since I've not submitted up the text proper..so...I really hoped that I could get a credit at the very least and better still, a distinction band. More essays to come and boy I really miss those fun times in literature and law class where genuine laughters and warmth is greatly felt...not to forget pieces after pieces of writing and comparing between novels...feeling rather nostalgic now...

Nevertheless, I've been admitted to this international institution where this will be the stepping stone for me to achieve that dream which I've always longed to and it would continue to be a never-ending process of learning, experiencing and living the scholar's life for the next 3 years or perhaps 4 years (if I'm lucky). Although it's not a bed of roses, this experience had certainly set my grip firmer and anchored the strength in me to keep on pushing.

Deep down, I've came to a realization that He will reward me back as much as I've put in during this whole journey whether directly or indirectly, whether soon enough or near future, it is just the matter of time and perseverance.

B-L-O-O-D-Y H-E-L-L

ARRGHHH!!!!!! BLOODY @#$%^%!$^*tt@#$!@

It is either I complete the darn bloody assignments or I'll go burn the Australian Uni >:(
What sort of bloody questions you're asking?

You see? What stress can do to you?

I probably need a good night sleep but HOW ON THE BLOODY EARTH YOU WANT ME TO FINISH READING TONS OF MATERIALS IN JUST 2 DAYS? BE REASONABLE LAR

see how I'm gonna suffer bcoz of y'all...screw you people in class...bloody hell...

Where are all the 'real' people?

First things first, I'm in no surprise that humans are indeed thickly masked by layers and layers of fabric, be it something bad or something one might feel ashamed to disclose, that is fine with me and I don't care whether one hides them intentionally or choose to expose EVERYTHING beneath that shiny mask, I seriously don't care and wouldn't care about it. BUT, something did taken me aback when the really unexpected hit me, well I guess you could say I'm bullshitting but seriously, no matter how much I say those are none of my business, when something unexpected as I said being thrust to your face, you just have to acknowledge it and to me, it just shaken me a bit...well, one musn't judge a book by its cover. I didn't wanna make it so direct as I'm afraid that I might offend someone...Sometimes I'm wondering whether is't me, myself and only me who's sight hasn't been exposed to the real world or am I having a right judgement?

Yet again, life's unexpectedness.

Anyway, haven't got the time to blog recently...yea yea, I hate it but I have to say the usual cliches that my assignments and reading materials are piling up bla bla bla...it's true anyway...my friends were like, 'wa y u start studyin so fast??' I was thinking to myself, 'huh?! so fast? it's already the 3rd week of the semester and our assignments due dates are getting closer, don't you people care bout ur studies?' ok, maybe I'm just plain paranoid, but hey, I got in to Monash not for the parties or just for the sake of expanding my social sphere but I'm here to get that piece of cert with an Honours...I'm blabbing again, I know it's kinda impossible but still, I'm taking my 3 years seriously and you know how much I took to get in to Monash?

Fine, just call me a cracked nut.

Anyway, attended a Arts Transition Programme last Saturday and we did had fun! =D my teams went 1st for 'Book-Hunt' xD and I won a comic book! haha Nothing much to update recently except that due dates are coming soon and I'm just sooooo worried bout that, I can't even start a single sentence for my essays which means I'm so screwed...well just hope for the best after I've seen some lecturers to clarify my doubts.

Had lunch with Jamie and Chin San in Sunway Pyramid and it was also the very 1st time I've ever been there! =_=' all thanks to my dad who just refused to get there BECAUSE OF THE JAM which in my opinion will not occur in the morning =_='

Oh by the way, thank you soo much for the lunch Jamie! =D I really appreciate it! Will get you something nice for your birthday yea!

And seriously, ISA should be demolished or at the very least, go through a REFORM for God's sake! The purpose of ISA is being misunderstood and please people, it's not like a charge or a rotten egg that you could just throw it at anyone...grow up =_=' so, Anti-ISA protesters caught and arrested under ISA...ironic...it's just a PROTEST for demolishing ISA, doesn't mean that we're raising RACIAL issues =_=' c'mon...even the Malays were protesting...what you have to say?...oh, ISA is something for the gov to CONTROL or SILENCE racial issues...and going against ISA means something different to the pro ISA-ers? Hmmm...dare not say too much after I pulak kena tangkap ISA?! =p

And I really missed the life back in college...=( those small little classes that we had and we basically know everybody in the cohort which is very unlikely to happen in Uni...wish I could just turn back time...Back then, almost everybody was warm and sincere, now, everyone seemed so cold and distant...

Those good-o-times...

(As it goes by…)

Sunrise
Sundown
I look in your eyes
I sometimes frown…

Daylight
Twilight
Living in a single phase of time,
Have we ever looked back?
Have we become loyal slaves to time?
Chasing nothing…
But time…time…time…

Has it really been decades?
Whereby flowers had stopped blooming
And my age is catching…

It seemed so far behind
When flowers of crisp-cross decorated my life,
With childish games and fantasies…

Too fast…
Too fast…