Thursday, January 20, 2011

When it visits again.

My Reluctance

My reluctance.
The comeback of antiquity.
Barrier to my sanity.
I have failed me.
In search of a mirror,
Reflection of refusal.
Yesteryear cheered on,
History celebrated,
Bygones revisited.

What a blow to start off 2011 with this poem, after almost 4 months I'd stopped writing. Nothing too fancy, nothing too extravagant, I'm simply highlighting the irony that is at its fullest sense. Instead of moving forward (which I'd successfully accomplished the idea) but things just kept coming back at me for some reason.
The past had revisited me.
What supposed to move on came back full force at me, how ironic in a new year.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Nothing whatsoever

Blogging seemed so strange to me now. Honestly speaking, I've logged in numerous times to this blank page, ready to post up something but I had let laziness and ignorant got the better of me and eventually, I logged out of it and never wanted to start blogging again. I guess blogging is not my thing anymore. Plus, I was thinking to myself, people loved reading gossip columns, interesting picture blogs, dramas in lives, but here comes this fella who posts nothing but poems and a pieces of his mind, without any photos whatsoever, so, why bother?

I'm kinda through with all these.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Hold on to the night

It felt as if I'd just created this blog. The last post dated 1st of October. It's been really really long. Ancient in fact.

Wonder what drew me to have an interest again in blogging. To kill time I guess. This is the problem when you ain't updating your blog regularly. When you've got so much to say, but you've got no idea at all where to begin.

And I've not been penning poems recently, once again. the longing to chase for everything circumstantial had made me swayed away from my inner thoughts. Not that I don't think, but it's the feeling that you'd somehow loose touch with who you are deep down.

So lets see, finished my finals, doubt I'll do well this time, might even fail the excruciating RDA paper. What was done is done, I'd tried my best. If He wants to be cruel to me, I reckoned, this is fate.

Moving on, worked in a legal firm for a week but resigned eventually. Let us just say that I prefer dealing with people instead of machines and unreasonableness. Found another job as the Customer Service rep in Parkson, anchored in Pavilion. I have NO IDEA what to expect there. 10 to 10. Tiring shift I supposed, but it's the matter of getting used. I HOPE.

Richard Marx's "Hold on to the the night" is currently on my Window's Media Player.

I wish I could. You got tired, you entered into another risky realm where you might not be opening your eyelids again. To some people at least. But I hope that will come true. No agonizing illness or thoughts. Just sleep. And the night will take over.

As selfish as it sounds, I can't help it at times.

Still feeling jumpy inside despite having worked for a few days. Wish me luck and I hope the Christmas mood will soon kick in again after diminishing for some time.

Friday, October 1, 2010

What is life?

Life we questioned, is like asking for the direction in a desert.

Life is all a joke. Indeed it is. At least in my context.

What is life? Life is a nothingness in a form of material disguise.

You figure.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

When the waves came crashing down

Hey folks. Another 'cheerful' entry I supposed. For the first time in my entire uni life, I failed one assignment. And of all the others, I failed the MINOR ESSAY for Media, Culture, Power. God knows what would happen to my major essays and finals.

It's not a big deal to some, I know. But it's a fail. And all I need now is a little support and thanks to my parents, I'm getting non. You can't always expect your child to get HD's or D's all the way.

I guess this serves as a slap that I gotta work waaaaaaaaaaaaay harder than most of them. It's kinda depressing to know how unfair the world is. If fairness even existed. I seriously wonder how the rest could be scoring A's and HD's all along the course without worrying much and here I am, working my ass off like a slave, only to know that I failed. Fair enough I did it rather late but I did so much readings. And why is it that I was told it was OK to refer to materials outside the reader and must we always follow what our lecturers want and etc...? Shouldn't arts be something a little more out of the box and not something that focused so much on rigidity? I followed the context, I followed the structure, and look what I've got? FAIL.

I guess this is how life works.

Ok peeps, sorry for being a little whiny but I'm still digging a hole to hide. I'm done.

On a lighter note, I got to rewrite the essay and the most I could get according to him is only a Pass. Brilliant.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Ugly duckling

Ugly duckling

Time ticks away.
Moments wasted.
Ugly duckling walked on thin lines,
between acceptance and rejection,
Pearly water beads rippled the pond,
mirroring his own reflection,
reflecting his solitude,
as the swans flew away.

Hope you guys would like this poem. A recent one, one that has composed out of hatred, disparity and hope.

Friday, August 6, 2010


*Blink Blink*

* anyone there?*

Yeah. That's the feeling I got when I started to pull out the piece of space and start blogging again..gosh...I can imagine my blog is covered with dust, spider webs and god knows whatever crap would be there...Sorry guys, I've been..err...well let's just say that my neurotic system kept me away from this blog. =) *cut it off you a$$, you're just lazy*


That's what Danny would say. ><
Sigh..ok, ok, I've been lazy all these while...but I've got nothing much to blog about you see...other than my life in Uni, which I wouldn't really call interesting since I'm stuck in KL and all I got would be Malaysians and some international students who just can't seem to bother about the world around them.

So as usual, it' already my second year and the assignments are choking up my throat. Go figure.

Oh, and a random piece, I've known a first year girl and apparently, her surname is SHAKESPEARE. O.o and according to her, she and the Mighty Uncle Shakespeare is RELATED but she's a Sri Lankan...Hmm...interesting notion.

I've got nothing more to write. So long for now.

*Closes the door as the light turns into a narrow line, and eventually, darkness.*