You know, sometimes when I look at the success of other people, I don't usually go bitching around and say 'oh hell who cares, I can do better than that blah blah blah..' but what I usually did is always a too detailed introspection. You could say I'm a sissy, I'm always chickenin out or perhaps for the more 'sensible ones', I'm just simply lack of confidence.
People used to tell me, WHAT?! writing poetry?! are you out of ur friggin mind? who the heck will appreciate?
Also, I used to get the hint that 'err...psychology...err...well...' yeah..meaning to say that the prospects aren't promising and yes, I get that.
So, I was having a long chat with my parents the other day. So instead of psychology, I'm sorta being whoosh to consider Mass Communication as my future under-graduate course. Not a bad one in fact since I'm no scholar, I'm no E=MC^2, I'm no musician and I'm aint no the smarties...that's kinda sad huh? considering the fact that everyone seemed to be so good at something and here I am, stuck in my own delusional and 'dysfunctional imagination'...see I don't even get what on earth I'm talking about...even my written English couldn't go any better...now I remembered what my lecturer used to complain and plus, I'm always the worst when comes to sentence structure and all those grammatical errors until my lecturer is fed up of telling me so...
(it's like a routine already you see...and it's that bad until you'd hear those words had became more or less like a 'chant' )
Once again, telling myself not to compare is like asking me not to pee when my bladder is flooded. What am I good at generally? Or what is my general interest in the end? My mom asked me that and I just can't seemed to answer...what I'm doin now, i.e writing poetry is not gonna secure me with anything. What? A column in the newspaper? A book? Hell no. But of course if u guys wanna publish my poems for me, I dun mind XD
Anyway, I've accepted that I'm not those who could study or really excel in something, but, no matter what I just had to move on and work my ass to the degree level and let time take me from there.
Now, I'm just gonna do what I do best =)
(Of Sheppard and wind)
The howling wind came whispering.
Hasting the wandering clouds.
Like a Sheppard,
Chasing his sheep
To somewhere they belonged.
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1 comment:
U could always opt 4 journalism. I'm pretty sure it suits u well. Hey, a column in the newspaper is good...like a stepping stone. U will only secure ur interest in something if u worked in it. Who knows, u could be a famous writer. Having said that, I'm sure u already knew all this. well gd luck buddy !
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