A stroll to infinity

Hello people! 7 more papers to go and I'm still glued to the PC and TV..XD well..that's what happened when we have too long a break..it always gave us a sense of false security...that's really bad u know...haha

so...felt kinda random today and my PC is MIRACULOUSLY working faster than usual..haha..so just a poem that I've written not long ago...it's a piece when I was sitting there halfway asleep in one of my lectures =P ops..hahah...but yeah, it was extremely boring and worse still, it was in the afternoon...'gone case' hahaha

Beyond that, this piece highlights the 'blank' moments that we all had in our lives and how clueless are we in those moments that we nearly give up and thought that, that's all that we're left with...

It's called 'A wander to the unknown'


(A wander to the unknown.)

My head a stone,
My lids a two shutter,
My mind an emptiness.

Words dissolving into a sink,
My life a dream.

Counted blessings

When it hits you like the strong ocean wave, you are fearful, at the same time, excited about what is it that it's gonna bring you.

You see, for all my life, I had never, never thought of even standing a chance in entering that particular university...for it seemed like light years away for that 'possibility' to happen. Partly because of the tuition fees and my seemingly 'excellent' results.

So, I was kinda shocked that my mom told me that I was about to be awarded this sum of money and I'm offered to complete a Bachelor of Arts (Psychology and Communication) Double Majors in Monash University.

I still can't seem to shake off that thought...however, my position would be guaranteed only if i could secure an 8-points in my forecast results...just wish me luck for that.

Even if I can't get in, I'm still thankful that I was granted such a great opportunity to apply for a university which stands at number 42 in the whole world.

7 more papers to go for my final Edexcel exam. Life is moving kinda slow, yet it speeds up when you are unaware of it.

I longed to hear the news from heaven.

*fingers crossed'

When cold water came rushing down the dying You.

You know, sometimes when I look at the success of other people, I don't usually go bitching around and say 'oh hell who cares, I can do better than that blah blah blah..' but what I usually did is always a too detailed introspection. You could say I'm a sissy, I'm always chickenin out or perhaps for the more 'sensible ones', I'm just simply lack of confidence.

People used to tell me, WHAT?! writing poetry?! are you out of ur friggin mind? who the heck will appreciate?

Also, I used to get the hint that 'err...psychology...err...well...' yeah..meaning to say that the prospects aren't promising and yes, I get that.

So, I was having a long chat with my parents the other day. So instead of psychology, I'm sorta being whoosh to consider Mass Communication as my future under-graduate course. Not a bad one in fact since I'm no scholar, I'm no E=MC^2, I'm no musician and I'm aint no the smarties...that's kinda sad huh? considering the fact that everyone seemed to be so good at something and here I am, stuck in my own delusional and 'dysfunctional imagination'...see I don't even get what on earth I'm talking about...even my written English couldn't go any better...now I remembered what my lecturer used to complain and plus, I'm always the worst when comes to sentence structure and all those grammatical errors until my lecturer is fed up of telling me so...
(it's like a routine already you see...and it's that bad until you'd hear those words had became more or less like a 'chant' )

Once again, telling myself not to compare is like asking me not to pee when my bladder is flooded. What am I good at generally? Or what is my general interest in the end? My mom asked me that and I just can't seemed to answer...what I'm doin now, i.e writing poetry is not gonna secure me with anything. What? A column in the newspaper? A book? Hell no. But of course if u guys wanna publish my poems for me, I dun mind XD

Anyway, I've accepted that I'm not those who could study or really excel in something, but, no matter what I just had to move on and work my ass to the degree level and let time take me from there.

Now, I'm just gonna do what I do best =)


(Of Sheppard and wind)

The howling wind came whispering.
Hasting the wandering clouds.

Like a Sheppard,
Chasing his sheep
To somewhere they belonged.

'SUBTLE' expressions

Exam starts tomorrow.

Lasts for 2 friggin days and a break less than a week.

This is the final chance. Now, or never.

SO WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU TORMENTING WITH MY F*CKING FEELINGS?

ARE YOU LONGING TO SEE I TEAR MYSELF APART AND QUESTIONS AND RAMBLES AND CONTEMPLATES THE F*CK OUT OF ME? JUST LIKE THAT PATHETIC HAMLET?

GO AND F*CK YOURSELF IN DAMNATION!

COS I AIN'T GONNA BE A SHIT LIKE YOU
AND I' AIN'T GONNA BE PUSHED DOWN FROM THE CLIFF BY YOU!!!

NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!

When it comes to an end.

( Pricking beauties )

Lying in the weariness
Of my soul and mind,
They intertwined
Like the roses and thorns.
Pricking beauties.
Tiredness swallowed me,

Is it time to sleep?