O how my life passes by

Here comes the sun, here comes the rain,
Here comes the fun, here comes the pain,
O how my life passes by.

This could very well being engraved on my tombstone when I return to the earth's slumber.
I tend to ponder quite a bit on the moments of life that brought me here to this point today. All the what-ifs, the questions seemed to tumble upon me, making me feel so, imperfect, vulnerable. There went my poem, 'a soul to weep', there went Carey's 'Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel'. Never did I experienced a day without comparing myself to the mass, never did I have the chance to just appreciate myself and not pushing myself too hard till I crumble, and yes, I never did. It is just recently that I've finally cleared my mind and made myself occupied with some stuff, only then I slowed down a little. When one is not tied up to that particular feeling that clung on to you a while ago, once it came back in fragments, gosh, how unbearable.

It's almost Christmas time but I'm not sounding festive at all. But argh, what the heck, as if there is ANYONE at all that cares about my blog. Call me vain, call me a sucker, call me a loser, and yes, I am. To hell with it.

Have I ever proved myself right? Have I justified my points clearly? For you people who just loved to judge, you tell me. Wait, hold on,

Keep it to yourself.

Not because I'm afraid, but because I'm fed up.

I gave up.