Yet again, the feelings set...

hello people Choon Hui's here.
i just can't figure it out why on earth these feelings just keep coming around. Once again i questioned myself, am i being sensitive or what? i'm trying my best to get rid of this feeling...but it just wouldn't go away...leave me alone...i pray for your mercy...sometimes, i do wonder is't because i've been thinking too much or am i too cautious bout every little bits and pieces of what people around me did, or what they said or how they act...and i just seemed to take everything so seriously. i was wondering can it be just a mere joke that some of them just so used to or, do they really meant what they said? hah...only God knows...gosh my mind had been clouded so thickly by emotions that are overwhelming. did i really made the right choice to come in to this college? what if...here i go again...aaarrgghh!!! i can't bear it anymore! but...at the end, i know that no matter what, those thorns and spikes will eventually be swallowed and guys sorry for all these ramblings but i just need a place to release and it's only through words that i can really express myself better.

another thing, ever since i met this person, lets call this person A. i mean the very moment i met A, there's this peculiar sense that clings on to the deepest corner in my heart that never in my life i will even thought of this kind of feeling. it's just so wrong...so wrong...maybe i shall never meet A and i shall just go back and study form 6...or maybe i shall just go and pursue the opportunity offered to me the other day...

anyway...BBQ nite was a hell of a night to some of us...about or 'fashion parade' it was a total screwed-up, at least the models did very well and i think i just screwed up the whole speech thing. everything was in a mess, everything was done last minute but at least we managed to survive. and poor us, my friend, Kit Wai and me were like machines working non-stop since yesterday afternoon and it was really havoc during the last few minutes of the props before the performance to begin..my goodness, i think it was worse than the backstage of the other fashion shows we watched on TV and i din even tie or pin up my 'robe' until i have to hold it with one hand behind my back and one hand with the mic. and we have to pack up the 'remains' left by these people and for the whole evening we didn't even have any food just a few cups of drinks and the sparkling juice that i brought. however it was quite an experience and seriously i still thanked everyone that was involved and boy i can never forget the moments in the Students Council Room where one after another was calling out of me CHOON HUI, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO WEAR? CHOON HUI WHERE ARE THE PINS? KIT WAI PIN ME UP, KIT WAI GIVE ME THAT CLOTH...after the whole thing, we were really exhausted..basically 'dried up' i can even say that we sweat more than we sit...hahaha...but still i'll definitely treasure the time we worked together as a team and without these people around me, the show will not be as good as we think...and unfortunately, my apologies as i've promised some pics, but i just din have the time to go around taking pictures as even i had a singing performance from the very beginning...but i'll try my best to get some pics from my college mates...it'll definitely be a better night if i never get myself involved in this whole thing. FIRST AND THE LAST!!!